Sunday, January 4, 2009

Last Supper

Tomorrow I start my diet. (I wonder how many times I've said that? It must be thousands of times over the last 30 years. God willing, I will start my diet tomorrow! I just finished a huge bowl of gourmet jelly beans. I feel sick! I didn't feel like finishing them but I've never been able to throw out junk food. And I know if I didn't finish them tonight...I couldn't start my diet tomorrow as I would have to finish them the next day. Insane isn't it!! I know if I don't start tomorrow it could be 60 tomorrows or more before I maybe willing. Last year I lost 35 lbs. and in the last 3 months, I have gained it back. I can feel it in my knees going up and down stairs or trying to get off a low couch. I plan on starting to exercise first thing in the morning which will have to be before 6 A.M. because I leave for work at 6:30 A.M. If I don't get up and exercise I can't use that as an excuse. I have so many excuses!! Maybe some time I'll try to list them all.
I feel apprehensive about returning to work and dieting. The first few days dieting, I can feel pretty bad as I go through sugar withdrawl. I need to take it one day at a time. Just concentrate on getting through tomorrow! Nothing bad is going to happen just because I am trying to take care of myself. It's about letting go and not trying to control everything. I just need to accept whatever the day brings. So I'm going to sign off to take my measurements and then I'll weigh myself tomorrow. I hope to be writing tomorrow at this time that I made it through my first day! God Bless! -T.

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