Tuesday, January 6, 2009

It Will Pass!

Today I almost binged. Right around lunch I started craving sweets. I hadn't eaten since breakfast and I think my blood sugar was low. Immediately I started negotiating with myself to eat sugar. I could start again tomorrow. It is too hard, I just can't do it today because.... You can start again tomorrow. In the past, I didn't have another voice in my head to say, "I don't think so." But I do now, only after decades of dieting and therapy. So rather than just agreeing with that statement, I examined it! HaHa. When I say it is too hard today, I can start again tomorrow, I'm implying it will be easier another day. What a line I'm feeding myself, literally!!!
It is a BIG FAT LIE that makes me BIG & FAT. Some days may be easier. Who knows this could be the last hard day and because I blew it I'll never know! I also know from experience that the cravings pass. I won't always feel this way. And after work, I felt great! I hadn't binged! I went home and had a abstinent snack and am sitting here writing about it.

Last night was hard too. After craving sugar for over an hour, I had a cup of orange juice. Many times it helps the cravings. Last night it didn't. So I finally went to bed. I didn't go right to sleep but it was clear I had decided I was done eating for the night. Hopefully, tonight won't be as tough, but I just need to remember if it is It will pass!

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